I don't think you have mentioned checking the reverse gear lock-out stop?
In my experience that is the commonest reason for baulking first gear engagement, the easiest to check and the simplest to fix.
Next time you try to engage first, lift the button on the gear lever and move the lever over a fraction to the left and then press forwards. If it now engages smoothly, then that is the problem. Just loosen the two bolts holding the lock-out plate enough to reposition it a tiny bit.
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